"we could have spared her years of suffering"

The calendar doesn't matter..."

College can wait. Think about this phase with the same urgency that you have during refeeding. It's easy to understand how tired you feel but handing back control can't be rushed.

Our d had several relapses. Actually, I should correct that-she was never given a chance to fully recover before we did FBT with her. I can't emphasize enough how important it is for your d to fully recover and sustain at healthy weight for a year, to really overcome her ed.

We learned everything the hard way. Our d would gain enough weight to be "out of danger" and then we would breathe a sigh of relief, thinking she could go on her way again. She would insist that she was fine, professionals would advise us that she needed our trust and to "learn how to do this for herself". Then she would loose weight again. Each time this cycle repeated, she would go to lower and lower weights.

Our d's struggle went on for over 5 years. If we had understood the importance of getting her to healthy weight and keeping her there for a full year, we could have spared her years of suffering.

This probably isn't easy for you to hear, and it won't be easy for your d either. But the alternative is dragging this out for far longer, compromising her prognosis for full recovery and the life she deserves."

(Emphasis mine. Wisdom: hers.)


  1. Very good post. I wanted to also say, for me, one of my issues was the pressure to become the perfect adult, to have my own apartment, upscale job, be financially independent. No one expected this of me, but I did. (I'm 21) My ed got worse once I moved into my apartment. An important thing I learned in therapy is that there is no timeline to doing things in life This was huge for me.

  2. Thats a good point Sarah and it's the same for my two young adult children. But thats where i think Laura's point is so very important. Support is required not only to maintain weight for the year but also to enable, you whilst recovering, to relearn resilience and life coping skills


Post a Comment

Popular Posts