Something Fishy about an eating disorder site's information
|yes, this is from a cigarette ad for "Slims"|
but you get my point.
When I was asked to leave SF, the only place on the Internet or "real" life I knew of with other parents on it, I was crushed. Yes, I had a different view. Yes, I disagreed with others. Yet it hurt more than I can say to be exiled.
I had already been upbraided and disparaged. I was not unaware that my views upset people. What I was saying about feeding your kids, about it not being our fault, about brain issues was wildly unwelcome. But I remember the day afterward when I went to my computer and couldn't go there any more. The door was shut. I found it humiliating and unfair and cruel. I cried a lot. For a while after that if my young son saw me sad he'd come pat me on the back and ask if it was "those fishes."
I licked my wounds and moved on. I started another online forum as an alternative, a community that went on to start two organizations for parents (Maudsley Parents & F.E.A.S.T.) I have seen the ideas that got me exiled go from "controversial" and offensive to accepted if not welcomed. The ED world has changed, for the most part. It took a lot of folks a lot of work to get us here.
At the time, though, I was actually scared of the backlash. I considered being silent about what I experienced there. Who was I to object?
I realize now that what I experienced was classic social control, and that I allowed myself to be intimidated. It is HARD to stand up for your beliefs and for others when you feel alone. It is hard to be sent away because you won't go along with what you believe is wrong. In retrospect we can see the right path but at the time.... you don't. Feeling alone, and not wanting to be a troublemaker, and wanting to be pleasing, these all get in your way. You hear the criticism and you hear the gossip and even being "right" doesn't seem like enough. Your ego gets bruised. You doubt yourself.
But things have changed. That's a lovely realization. That's a fantastic realization. We've come a long way. It is okay to talk about brains, to talk about food, to encourage parents to get in and not butt out. We don't need to apologize and defer; we can act and we can support one another instead of pulling one another back down.
Yet, the Something Fishy site is still there and the content that was out of date and harmful to parents in 2002 is still there and still causing ongoing harm. A group of wonderful activist parents are fed up and are trying to get that fixed. They are speaking up and asking all of us to do so as well.
The Something Fishy site needs to be changed. The former owners (CRC) who bought it from the original couple who created it have benefitted from years of SEO and clicks that direct people to their referral lines. CRC and all the other advertisers have had many years and countless profits from the site without changing that content.
The new owners, who are still unclear on their identity and goals, say they want to make the site positive. I say they should make it RIGHT. Take down the archaic and harmful content. Be part of the present. I did not agree, philosophically, with the original owners but they were sincere. The owners and the users engaged with the site in good faith. I hope more people step up to ask that the good faith be honored by taking down or updating the site.
So, what you're saying is.....ReplyDelete
You're upset because you were asked not to share your personal viewpoints, and you felt that it was "social control" causing you to silence yourself.
So now, your goal is to use "social control" to force someone else to stop giving their own viewpoint?
Just making sure I'm keeping up, here.
That's what it sounds like to me, too. Just because not everyone agrees with the Maudsley Method doesn't mean a website is archaic and should be shut-down.Delete
Maudsley folks seem an awful lot like the False Memory Syndrome folks - "parent's aren't to blame!" when in fact, the perpetrators of abuse *started* the FMS organization.
I'd say "something's fishy" about Maudsley.
Not sure where you got the idea that the protest around SF had to do with Maudsley. Probably from the same place that told you there are "Maudsley folks." It didn't and there aren't.Delete
Unless I'm forgetting something.
I need help I have an ED I think. I am 14 and only eat dinner because if I don't my mom would start to have ideas. I can't tell her she would be crushed. I also can't get myself to eat more, I try and it hurts so badly I want to cry.Delete
Anonymous, tell your mom, she loves you and she doesn't want you to hurt. I wish I understood this when I was your age and got help, now that I have children of my own I understand that there is nothing that would make me stop loving them. Your mom will do anything to help you, don't keep it a secret tell someone all you have to do is reach out. & I think you just did.Delete
I agree! you should really reach out to someone even if you feel like you cannot talk to you mother reach out to an adult that you feel you can trust and together you can talk to your parents so that they can all work together and get to the bottom of what is causing you to feel how you do about eating! Trust me you are not alone many people struggle with the same thing. I think it's great you are looking for ways to deal with this issue... Just don't be afraid to talk to someone! Your looking for answers so your on the right track!Delete
But not quite. If the views and info on SF is someone's "viewpoint" they are entitled to it and the criticism it will bring. Bringing it to light and discussing it in public is the opposite of silencing.
The information in SF is not factual and it's not an opinion based on correct information. It is very harmful and damaging. And as a society we need to protect those that can't protect themselves and are vulnerable. Sites like SF, who coin themselves as what they are not, need to be kept in check!ReplyDelete
Kept in check by whom?! You? So you know the back-story of every single person who ever posted on the SF website? You know for a fact they all need protecting?Delete
Are you REALLY that arrogant?
I was a member of SF for several years, not as a parent but as one with an eating disorder. This writer is correct. When I was a member the original couple ran it. You conformed or you got banned. And if you got banned, all you could do was read them post about you, knowing you weren't able to respond. They had bizarre rules, and those rules harmed me. If a member asked for support, ofany number of things considered verboten, that person was locked out for whatever amount of time the couple chose, with the words "seek real time help", slamming that door in people's faces, many who had no other support. I was fortunate to find a better ed community without bizarre rules, nor run with an iron fist. I recovered with their help. They are still an active site. SF is gone. Thank goodness! That place was not only harmful, but dangerous.Delete
I was a member of SF for years and they were instrumental in my finally reaching out and getting real help--counseling, a dietitian, etc. I am now 8 years eating disorder free, and SF started my recovery.Delete
Yes, they would lock posts and tell you to get real time help for certain things, but for people who don't know, the list of things you couldn't say were:
1. Medical questions (ie. My heart is racing and I feel like I'm going to pass out. I haven't eaten in x days. Could that be why?) The reasoning behind this should be obvious--they wanted to strongly encourage people to get checked out by a medical professional.
2. Suicidal posts (ie. Goodbye. I'm not going to be back tomorrow because I'm probably not going to be alive.) Again, they wanted to strongly encourage people to talk with a professional.
3. Numbers/food lists/explicit ED behaviors The reasoning for this is to avoid triggering people and to focus on the FEELINGS and not the BEHAVIORS.
The rules were not bizarre but were carefully thought out and strictly enforced in order to create a safe, recovery oriented community.
I was also a member of SF back in the very late 90's and early 2000's. Until I found them I felt isolated and alone. The site might not have been perfect, but it was instrumental in my eventual recovery after suffering for over 25 years. And there were no rules at that time that I felt were not fair and beneficial. Many websites would unwittingly allow members to become competetive with each other. People with eating disorders, myself included, can be extremely manipulative. I haven't been there in over ten years, but I have nothing but good things to say about them. Of course times change, and not everyone fits the same mold. I'm glad other options have become available to help those for whom Something fishy was not the place to be.Delete
Laura, you are right, you are bringing this information into the light, not silencing it at all. Initially my thoughts rang along the lines of "this site is so moribund why not let it just wither away rather than bring it to anyone's attention" but it obviously is still easy to find on the web, and therefore there's the danger that people will find it rather than anything up to date, so to the owners I say take the thing down and forget it, or update it and make it the useful place its original owners, however misguided some of us may feel they were in the end intended it to be. At the moment it's just a dangerous structure left on the internet like a hulk ship or an abandonned buildingReplyDelete
Oh, Marcella, such an excellent analogy!!ReplyDelete
I am one of a group of eating disorder activists who have conveyed on several different occasions recently that we are horrified with the content of the SF website. Information is outdated and parent-blaming, evidence-based treatments are not presented and in fact when I enter my zip code in the treatment finder, UCSD Center for Eating Disorders Treatment and Research, an undisputed top name in the treatment of eating disorders among adolescents, doesn't even pop up.ReplyDelete
As a parent whose child was diagnosed and treated early, I am not going to stop pushing on this issue. There is incontrovertible evidence that early diagnosis and treatment is the most important predictor of a long-term prognosis of beating an eating disorder. Given this information, the probability of harm from the information on your site is high.
I implore you to immediately either remove the site completely, or place "under construction" sites as you hire a writer who is well-versed in current research to revamp the site. With the number of times and ways this has been asked of the current administrator recently, and former administrators over the years, one can only be puzzled as to the motivation of keeping such patently harmful and outdated information posted.
I look forward to your response on this urgent matter.
I love your commitment to believing in a world where parents are incapable of teaching their children unhealthy habits or damaging their self-esteem. Unfortunately, low self-esteem and unhealthy habits are precisely what puts children who are predisposed to eating disorders at risk of actually engaging in eating-disordered behaviors. And once someone with a predisposition engages in those behaviors...well, we all know what happens, or we wouldn't be here.ReplyDelete
Do you know what else is particularly common among children with eating disorders? Mothers who score high on scales of narcissism.
Oh, Anonymous, how priceless! It's all about me me me me ME and it just feeds my voracious ego to have you even notice me!ReplyDelete
But really, you had me at "predisposition."
When you don't share your name and you hide behind "anonymous" than your opinion, yes opinion and not facts, is worthless.ReplyDelete
It should occur to you that many are victims of SF and fear them, even now, so we post as anonymous.Delete
Laura, what is "predisposition", if not genetics? You're all about genetics, right?ReplyDelete
Guess what happens when you push someone with the right genetics toward disordered eating. Go ahead.....guess.
Darling, I'm agreeing with you!ReplyDelete
Since we're friends, obviously, you know that I am ALL ABOUT parents ending disordered eating, poor body image, over-exercise, untreated anxiety, all the things that can turn a predisposition into an eating disorder.
What you don't seem to have gotten is that this is not "cause" nor do any of those things have to be in place to turn a predisposition into an eating disorder. An ED diagnosis is not a "gotcha" to parents that they screwed up and open season on their parenting. Parents are the SOLUTION and not the enemy. Getting parents to change their attitudes and actions is the point of my whole advocacy gig.
I'm laughing (at, not with you, by the way) because you're in high snark mode as if you're catching me in some logical error. If someone so gleefully happy to shame parents believes in predisposition then We Have Overcome.
I guess I'm not sure where Anonymous is coming from. I suppose anonymity is useful but we are trying to solve problems here so please come out into the open. Laura is commenting on an action I and a few others initiated. The action was simple - Ask Something-Fishy.org to update and revise their clearly outdated website. This is akin to actions we've initiated with Mirror-mirror.org who immediately responded and made the changes. To Thierry Lasry who immediately changed the name of their Anorexxxy sunglasses. To Hudson Bay who immediately removed their 'nothing tastes as good as skinny" t-shirts. I suppose this request to Something-fishy.org is hard because they are ONE OF US. But they are also connected (as I learned) to a for profit company that owns hundreds of treatment facilities. And while I'm sure there are fabulous professionals out there, let's face it...they profit off sick people. That's the truth. They might also help sick people but they profit from them. A real cynic might see this refusal by Something-fishy.org to change their site and their overt referral connection to a for profit company as a way to IGNORE PARENTS and CONCERNED CITIZENS (caps just for fun to emphasize :)) who happen to question. Or they could just be very lazy and unprofessional. I'm just not sure. All I know is that the site is outdated and has harmful information and I think it should be revised. The company it feeds patients to - CRC Health - should also take responsibility. As should the company who owns them - Bain Capital. My name is Amy Cunningham. MPH, MBA mom of five. I live in East Africa and work in HIV/AIDS. Please feel free to contact me if you want to assist in this endeavor and others like it. We also have a closed FB page called International Eating Disorders Action. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org. Anonymous - I'm happy to chat. Have a great weekend.ReplyDelete
So that's how the wonderful FEAST and MaudsleyParents sites were created? I didn't know the history. From SomethingFishy to Creme-de-la-Creme.ReplyDelete
Just noticed that Something-fishy.org is shut down.ReplyDelete
I was a regular at somethingfishy.com or somethingfishy.org whatever it was. I was "too outspoken of a Christian." Every other religion could preach but I could not. I could not share the hope and blessings that helped me overcome my bulimia. I went to Mercy Ministries and that is such an AWESOME place. But how dare I mention the word Christian! Kensington I believe her name is...she was so narrow minded!!!!!!!!!ReplyDelete
I hated something fishy also. Something was not right about that place and i am glad its shut down, i was often not allowed to post, was publicly accused often of trying to cause problems there on the boards and behind the scenes, i was accused of faking, lying, etc. i dont even know what kensington was talking about and i dont know where in the world she got her "information." I was always there to try to help, and usually just replied to others instead of even starting my own posts. I am glad the place fell apart.ReplyDelete
I know one thing that wasn't right about SF. It goes back to the days of usenet. They had a ed forum, and it was a free-for-all. No mods, ect. There was one person who was a regular and declared herself "head honcho". There was another regular who fought with her over this. This second poster was amy medina. She used her real name, and she posted all the time about her not being recovered, posted her weight, ect ect. She was also a major control freak, and fought the other member over the "head honcho" thing. She got mad and that is when she started something fishy. That evolved a bit from just a list to the forums, ect. What amy kept secret was that she was not recovered, and every time she found the other person, she immediately banned her. SF had all those rules because amy had to have total control. When many of us left to go to a better site (which is still active) she banned those she found there. She actually had people register just to hunt out "fishies" and they were banned. I still laugh. She knew about "the head honcho" person but she never knew about me. I never would have posted on that crazy usenet. Amy Medina was a fake and was not (at that time, who knows, now) recovered. I saw that place as dangerous.Delete
Respectfully, I'm sorry that you had a bad time on Somethings Fishy. I have no interest in that site and haven't had to visit it for years, but I can honestly say that that site helped save my life. Yes, it was a bit "censored" if you will, but (and you say so yourself) the people who started it seem to have done so out of a genuine want to help people. And they indeed DID help people. I am a recovered, happy woman now and that site helped me turn things around. A few of the other people I met there have also gotten their lives together and are well, and while certainly a site can't do that, it did help.ReplyDelete
I'm not familiar with the method you mention and if it helped your child, then I'm happy it exists. I've also come to believe (given years to get perspective and having done lots of work myself) that eating disorders are extremely complex and difficult to pin on any one thing. While the site might have felt restrictive to you, it was what a lot of us needed to get on the right track.
Anyway, just wanted to offer some honest feedback that it wasn't all bad and even if your experience wasn't great, that isn't true for everyone.
Also, I saw when I visited about a year ago that it isn't the same site it used to be but back in the day, the info and resources there were good.
Sorry to add more, but I looked at your book and its wonderful that whatever method you took worked with your daughter and its great to get that info out there. Just be aware that it might not work for everyone and that's why its great to have many perspectives.ReplyDelete
I feel the need to comment here because I think this is a skewed vision of the SF website as it existed when it was still being run by the woman who designed it and her supportive husband. I do believe I know the name used by the author of this blog as I was a part of the support site ten years ago. There were lots of debates in those forums about Maudsley. Here's the thing: eating disorders are multi-tentacled monsters and there is no such thing as a one size fits all when it comes to treatment. I think we need to acknowledge that some eating disorders are primary illnesses and some are signs of what might be a more serious (Axis I) mental illness. The eating disorder is a coping mechanism, a consequence, if you will, of the more serious underlying illness. It may take years for the "primary" disease to manifest itself and be properly diagnosed. And, it is only in looking backward that the signs of something as serious as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia were there but those diseases are not diagnosed until a full psychotic break occurs. It is very rare for those type of diseases to be diagnosed before the age of 18. Eating disorders, from my own experience, tend to emerge prior to age 18. Is the ED just that, or is it a sign of things to come?ReplyDelete
As for my second point, the claim of feeling alone among parents who were in the same boat is not exactly the truth. We had healthy debates in the forums for many months. There were disagreements but as I recall, most of the discussions were respectful of others. When Laura was ostracized by the "community" it was because we all felt used. She was participating as a mom, presented herself as one of us and never shared that she was researching for the publication of a book. When it came out that a book was on the stands, it was a violation of everything that is supposed to be sacred in an online group. Even though those boards were open to all, someone who was so actively involved, in my opinion, should have let others know she was planning to write a book (or was well in the editing stages of the book).
I am still in contact with some of the women and I'm sure they have the same opinion as I regarding what happened ten years ago. My recollection is that you were indeed "exiled" from the site by the original owner but it had absolutely nothing to do with any debate or difference of opinion, it was all about the book and the fact that the rest of us only learned of the book AFTER it was published. Those are the facts. And that was wrong. It was an abuse of trust for personal gain. That is the way I viewed it then, and that is the way I still see it.
PS-Hi Marcella UK...... I'm sure you are the same Marcella from SF. Hope you are well!! I still have the photo of you and Wendy in the rail station in London :)
Hi AnneMarie, yes, I'm the same Marcella. I'm well. My daughter isn't recovered having suffered a few lapses and relapses along the way but she is living away from home and in a relationship which seems to be working out for her.Delete
Memories are such complex, personal things. I'd swear Wendy and I met in Oxford not London but I may well be wrong. I was half witless at the time because I was going through the hell of having a daughter with an ED.
Having a child with a life threatening illness doesn't help anyone's mood or rationality and the relative anonymity and our lack of experience as a society in negotiating this new social world can lead to misunderstandings and upset even when people are being honest and open about what or who they are, as Laura certainly always was whether that made her popular or got her a load of flack. Having graduated from inquisitive newbie to long in the tooth mod I do see the problem of keeping a site true to its principles, up to date with current research and open to all genuine posters as the tricky job it is. At present no one seems to be doing that for SF.Delete
The book happened after I was asked to leave. No one knew about it and it had nothing to do with why I was unwelcome which was from the first month I was on the site (I have the transcripts).
I wasn't "researching" a book, I was living through hell just like everyone else. I describe that hell in the book, with a few lines about SF. I was not the first or the last person to be drummed out of the community for ideological reasons, and this sort of thing goes on everywhere humans have keyboards, I find.
None of that, though, was the topic of my post. I was sharing how painful it was, whatever the reason, to be exiled and misunderstood. And that the original owners were sincere while the current content and owners were not.
I'm laughing at the idea of "personal gain," though. I'm still waiting for that!
I need help I have an ED and it gets worse every second of the day. I only eat dinner and that is because I don't want my mom to find out. I need help but my mom can't know.ReplyDelete
Your mom needs to know. I know it is hard to imagine but you will be relieved afterward. Your mom is the best way to get out of ED. You can have your mom contact me if you want me to help!!!!Delete
FEAST is not this wonderful open group that is supportive either. I find it rather interesting that you do the same thing to parents and caregivers on FEAST that happened to you on SF. You created in FEAST that which you so hated on SF. Given your experience on SF, one would think you would be more open and accepting on FEAST. I was removed from FEAST with no explanation despite my best efforts at trying to resolve any issues that arose. I was given no warnings or anything, just tried to sign on one day and couldn't. On this issue, you should really get off that soapbox and practice what you preach.ReplyDelete
The neat thing about anonymity is that you can say something untrue and unkind and make it sound as if you a courageous voice. I know what you are saying is not true, as do you, and the power of hosting this blog is in giving you a chance to say it anyway. The truth of the situation still remains the truth.Delete
Apparently when you stepped down as Executive Director, they stopped involving you in the internal workings at FEAST. What I know is that at a time when I desperately needed support and advice on how to care for a very sick child, my account was terminated. Despite numerous emails and even talking to someone at FEAST, I never was given any explanation and my account remained terminated. I am still fighting this battle on a daily basis with a very sick child. I am very lucky that in my time on FEAST, a lot of the knowledgeable parents privately emailed me and continue too. I know some also were emailing in disagreement with how things were handled and never received any kind of explanation either. It is not the same but that is the truth of the situation. It was badly handled, unjustified, and very unprofessional. As one long time poster told me "If Charlotte had still been around, this would have never happened."ReplyDelete
So, to review: you broadcast an intensely nasty and personal message in public to me alluding to events and motives unseen. Then you revise that to bring me in as a confidante to expose, again in public, an organization I helped to found, love, and still am actively involved in. I have no more cheeks to offer for you to slap!Delete
Had you appealed to me personally I might have seen it as a misunderstanding that could be resolved, as you and I both know that FEAST is an organization of very caring and thoughtful people. But doing it this way, anonymously, and in public, seems both manipulative and attention-seeking. Again, the truth of the situation still remains the truth and it isn't well represented here. I don't know you but I do know FEAST.
And evoking Charlotte.... wow. We really aren't going to get along, I'm afraid. You should probably go back to nastygrams toward me personally.
Why wouldn't I do this in public? I tried my hardest to resolve this in private and got nowhere. I was ignored by those very caring and thoughtful people-pretty much like your experience on SF. Why would it be fine for you to go public about your experience on SF and not fine for me to add my comments on FEAST? If I am being manipulative and attention-seeking, I am only following the example you set in this post. My experience on FEAST matches your experience on SF. As for appealing to you personally, why would trying that get me anywhere when appealing to Leah or the board got me nowhere? You want my name on the board and are actually interested in helping me, I have no issue with giving it to you. I never met Charlotte but my understanding is that she fought for people who had things happen to them that never should have. I never got to meet her as I joined just before her death. The person who told me that was a good friend of Charlotte's and told me that she would have fought for me to get my account reinstated rather than just ignoring me and hoping I would go away. I was on SF for a long time and I vividly remember what happened to you. I have no doubt you started FEAST to be something other than what SF was but the same things are happening on FEAST whether you are aware of them or not. It is not right.ReplyDelete
It is fine for you to comment publicly. I'm responding to what you are saying and noting that doing so in this way -- very selectively -- seems to be disingenuous. It's not really a comment to me, it is a public statement. You're also evoking the name of a close friend as some sort of cudgel.ReplyDelete
SF exiled me on ideological grounds and said so. I accept that. It does hurt, but that was their decision and their right.
You accuse FEAST of doing something randomly and without explanation which is quite untrue. You can say what you wish about it in public but those involved cannot, as you know. If you wanted my personal assistance or really wanted me to know what happened to you, if you were concerned for FEAST and wanted me to know, there was another way.
Anonymous - We are very interested to know who you are and why you are obsessing on silly things when there is work to do. If you want to really get something done start writing to your MP/Congress people and join groups of like minded people who aren't wasting time on tit for tat but on real advocacy. Or start picking on other people. The ED world is changing - put your name to your posts if you want serious dialogue. Most of us are interested in debate and dialogue as we want change in the ED world. If you can't come out of the closet it's not really productive. Thanks.ReplyDelete
Amy, those of us who can do. I put my resources and energy into doing things that matter and feel no need to have my name attached. I don't waste time writing to my congressman or woman. I chose to put my money and time into things that really make a difference in the here and now, not sometime out in the future.ReplyDelete
How is bashing Laura something that matters? I've never met Laura but greatly respect the work she does. And in my short stint as an ED activist (long stint as an ED survivor, medium stint as an ED parent) I'm not unfamiliar with ruffling feathers and stirring things up. I've also been kicked off sites and told I'm too aggressive. It doesn't phase me. But sitting quietly or bitching about people never got anyone anywhere in terms of making change. Whether it is treating our kids from this heinous disease or questioning treatment centers' approaches or asking why evidence based approaches for ED are not being use or demanding our country(ies) put in place systems to avert suffering and address healing. Not getting involved is a choice I respect but I don't understand the bitchiness. It undermines our credibility. Anyway to each his/her own. I think Laura is gracious for allowing anonymous comments and personal attacks frankly. I hope you find the solace you are looking for.ReplyDelete
Who said I do not get involved? I am involved. I run a family based nonprofit foundation that gives grants to programs to fund low-cost or free treatment (evidence based of course), grants to programs like Charlotte's Helix, etc. on top of the daily fight to keep my very sick loved one alive. I just do not feel the need to splash my name around.ReplyDelete
I don't see anything wrong with anonymity: I used a pseudonym for many years for good reason and for many families it is a way to get support and give support when they would otherwise not be able.ReplyDelete
Anonymity can be a way to be real, strangely enough. Real names are no guarantee of honesty or goodwill, either.
Anonymity can also be a way to bully or or manipulate, or create false identities.
The biggest problem with anonymous postings is that it is impossible to know WHICH "anonymous" one is reading in any given comment.
Good points Laura - my anonymous postings when they occur tend to be as a result of technical incompetence (forgetting my password) rather than in order to hide my identity but often it would be nice, and I think useful, to separate Marcella and Fiona and to be more open as the former than I can as the latter.Delete
LOL on the forgotten password. Been there. If one is not plugged into social media, there are not many choices on how to post here other than anonymous. I don't know what OpenID is but I have none of the other accounts and not wanting to use my real name-I have to be anonymous. The only other place I have participated on was SF and FEAST and that ID was terminated. So I get Anonymous.Delete
Laura, very true. Anonymity can be a lifesaver for those who have well known families that have become synonymous with wealth. No one ever sees past the name and everyone has a hand out. Sometimes anonymity is the only way I can be myself and have people get to know me before finding out the family name. I use my real first name and no one needs to know anything more than that. Anonymity too has given me a way to talk about the life and death struggle of a loved one from a long-term eating disorder and be open and honest about it rather than keeping up appearances.ReplyDelete
I was banned from SF cause I was too outspoken of a Christian. Kensington HATED me!!! I posted on the religious section saying when I was praying for people and she would delete my posts. I felt like she was encouraging me to be invisible...like she wanted me to be caught up in the eating disorder. I would love to encourage gals who have ED to find help...places like Mercy Ministries are out there...saved me.ReplyDelete
Something Fishy was a mixed blessing to me. I am glad that it is now gone. It went seriously downhill after Amy and Tony sold it.ReplyDelete
I was a member of sf back around 2001. I was banned. It was not an issue for me that I was banned. It was that amy medina flat out lied about myself and some others on the forum, and we could not defend or address her false accusations. At the time i was banned I had already moved on, to another more open/rule free site, and the medinas actually had her members searching that site and banning any "fishies" caught there. I didn't care for her ideas that she should have control over where i go online. I so often "ran into a wall" when I was a member of sf, because I didn't fit the medinas idea of how members must act/be". I was a long time member, and left, was banned. and the irony is that the site I fled to, which had no rules, still thrives, most are now recovered, without the censorship, while sf is now gone. Amy Medina had serious control issues, and for many, she caused much more harm than good. I am glad the place is gone and my old username no longer comes up in search. And yes, I am anonymous, for the same reason another stated - fear of them.ReplyDelete
You're right . There's always something fishy with eating disorders. Eating disorders take away a person's health and happiness.ReplyDelete