He said she said he said she

I've noticed that mothers and fathers often have conflict about how to deal with crisis. And an eating disordered child is certainly a crisis. I know my husband and I didn't react the same way. I confess that sometimes I thought he "should" do what I do, and I suspect the feeling was mutual.

Here's some confirmation of the concept that it isn't "my way" or "your way" but maybe we need both: "Parental Variance Can Help Children" has this interesting sentiment regarding preschoolers (analogous to a teenager during ED recovery, I think):

"When one parent provided little support in response to a child's anger or anxiety and the other parent provided a lot," the child fared better. "In contrast, when both parents provided a lot of support, the child had less insight..."

Note that neither parent being sympathetic isn't an option.


  1. This is so true. We can't all be everyone to everybody. It was helpful that my husband back off and be the Mr. Fun-guy. It helped her feel normal, therefore making recovery seem possible.
    Sometimes I envy his role but these days she's mine again.
    We really are all different.


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