He said she said he said she
Here's some confirmation of the concept that it isn't "my way" or "your way" but maybe we need both: "Parental Variance Can Help Children" has this interesting sentiment regarding preschoolers (analogous to a teenager during ED recovery, I think):
"When one parent provided little support in response to a child's anger or anxiety and the other parent provided a lot," the child fared better. "In contrast, when both parents provided a lot of support, the child had less insight..."
Note that neither parent being sympathetic isn't an option.