The difference

Parents, we are the difference.

The difference between what insurance will pay and what needs to be done.

Between what is 'usually done' and what our loved one needs.

Between 'out of danger' and restored.

Between a diagnostic threshold and a healthy real life.

Between a diagnosis and a unique beloved person.

Between what is convenient and what is needed.

Between what others think we can do and what we CAN do.

Between fewer symptoms and NO symptoms.

Between discharged and the real work of recovery.

Between legal responsibility and moral responsibility.

Between 'as much as we can do' and 'here's what we're going to do.'

Between services available and unconditional love.

Between averages and actual human beings.

Who else but parents will persevere through illness, through patient resistance, through a series of treatment providers, through financial barriers, through bureaucratic failures, through setbacks, through society's lack of information, through unhelpful friends and relatives, through marital discord, through sibling distress, through career dashing and the loss of dreams, and through personal exhaustion? Who will be the only ones to have that singular goal of a loved one's not only getting better but moving on?


  1. Beautifully said Laura. Because of your encouragement I learned that I needed to trust my instincts and seek what I believed would help my D. Because I learned that faith in my parental ability, my D is now further along in her recovery and no longer viewed as a chronic case resistant to treatment.
    She believes she has a future as a healthy adult.
    I was fortunate to find a clinician who fully trusts and supports me and my observations as well.
    I wish that for all parents.

  2. Wow - reading this 3 years later and realizing how your words still ring true. Continued to be a gentle guide and making a difference when others give up or settle for less. We are also fortunate to have consulted with a clinician who really does support parental instincts and knowledge - and doesn't just give lip-service to trusting parent feedback. Your words of wisdom to me many years ago, to trust my instinct and use my bird's eye view have continued to be the best guide - thank you Laura.


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