Why blogging feels so much less lonely these days

With bloggers like Sarah and Judith, who needs to post original content?

If those posts don't start conversation, nothing will! It should. Too few people are really coming out and talking: we all talk amongst ourselves and demonize the others. Now, for a while that was due to the fact that those with the ear of the public and the control of the major eating disorder organizations and conferences genuinely didn't think there was any controversy to their positions. Anything that was anti-ED was okay. Disagreement and dissent within the ED world was mostly discredited or simply not heard. Now, with online communities and blogs and comment sections and direct access to consumers and the media things are changing. Open disagreement is happening, and even well-meaning people are being questioned. I say: yay.

Putting your beliefs out there in public means hearing from one's critics, and it should. Frankly, I'm delighted to HAVE critics. For too long it was a lot of saying things in an empty room. Now, there's more contact, more discussion, and those on all angles of these discussions are developing fluency, maturity, and thoughtfulness in their debates. This is not, generally, fun or comfortable. But if the reactions to these discussions tells us anything it is that there is a desperate need for discussion - it puts everyone on notice that We Do Not All Agree, and It Matters. Not that there are good guys and bad guys and there will be winners and losers but because lives are at stake and we cannot afford to do less than really hear and really think deeply about our own beliefs, not just defend them.


  1. From someone with severe chronic anorexia who grew up in an unhealthy family, I no longer care WHY or HOW the eating disorder developed. I just want a life back. Refeeding is crucial to this brain disease, and as long as it happens in a nurturing environment, I believe FBT/Maudsley is going to help patients fully recover.

  2. Hello, Tasha! I am cheering you on! I hope you get the support you need to get rid of this loathsome illness. My daughter is a long-time sufferer of a couple of EDs, and with evidence-based treatment is getting some relief. She had the fortune of having that "healthy" family that you lacked, and it has still been so awful that I can't imagine what you have gone through without it. Wishing you the best.

    Laura, I have been posting comments all around the internet, agreeing sometimes, disagreeing other times. I love that we can make our thoughts and experiences and knowledge heard! This is so different from the first years of my daughter's illness, when the only people I could talk to were her clinicians, who had very little time and didn't really want to hear what I had to say anyway, or family members and close friends, and often they were overwhelmed by my need to figure out and properly deal with this crazy-making disorder.

  3. Dr. Ravin's blog entry should be read by every "therapist" meeting with an individual with an ED. My daughter was greatly harmed in many of the exact ways listed - I wish I had known more, but I thought the therapists were the experts. I was gravely wrong. Traditional therapy shouldn't be offered or allowed; it's far more harmful than good. Why is it allowed? It's absolutely wrong, wrong, wrong.

  4. ABSOLUTELY agree that therapy can be harmful at times. More especially (I like that phrase) it can be useless AND keep a person stuck in the old stories in their head, thus fostering ED thinking/behaviors, if they're not first nutritionally rehabilitated.
    I have had people tell me I'm not being supportive enough of the clients whom I coach, that I'm black and white in thinking about telling them: nutrition first, we'll talk about it later. But I'll stand by that b/c I know, not only from personal experience, but from discerning mounds of research (and relying on Laura to bring my attention to it ;-) that no amount of 'talking thru the causes of ED' is going to help you recover, if you're not first: nutritionally sound. ~ <--of course, nutritionally sound and nutritional rehab takes varying times for various people...so it's not like we can say: after 2 months of nutritional rehabilitation, you're good to go in terms of therapy. It is an individual healing process that needs careful and tough evaluation by an RD and MD, and patient.
    For anyone reading this who is currently struggling: I suffered in and out of 'recovery' for 12 years before I finally put nutrition first -no ifs, ands or butts. (pun intended). During this time I committed to leaving any feelings associated with my eating disorder on the side of the road. I said, "Look, if the problems are still there after I've refed my brain, then I'll deal with them. But let's just focus on re-feeding me once and for all and see if it just doesn't make a lot of everything better." I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't gone thru it: pretty much all of my seemingly insurmountable problems that I thought were the cause of my ed, the root of my depression, and the awful relationships I thought I could never deal with b/c of ED...all but about two of those things disappeared because I refed my brain. As a result of re-feeding my brain, I was no longer anxious, depressed, telling the same repetitive (and often untrue) stories in my head, and...many of the problems that once seemed so big...they weren't. So --I encourage you: eat first, therapy later. It worked for me (and so many others I know). ps: Go, Tasha, Go!!

  5. to Anonymous --I don't go so far as to say that traditional therapy is wrong. I think the timing of when it is introduced is really key. ~ I gave up on traditional therapy b/c every (EVERY) therapist I went to said, "Once you have an eating disorder, you always have an eating disorder. Your mother is the root-cause and she's not going to change." -- both lies that I believed for the 12 years I weaved in and out of therapy offices. Once I fully rehabilitated my brain, then I worked on healing the emotional wounds that remained --and I was able to do it rationally, without seeking to blame, without seeking retribution, etc. It was one of the most humbling and peaceful journeys that I've ever taken myself and my family on (we did this 'therapy' on our own --having adult conversations and recognizing that we didn't all agree about the whys/hows of my ED <-- and that was: okay) ~ For others, esp. those who have experienced what is labeled as "trauma" --I would encourage therapy after nutritional rehabilitation. Therapy can be useful if you have someone who is well-trained and who believes in helping you heal and move on, not someone who believes you'll always be sick. ...there's so much more to say!...

  6. Good gracious, Kathleen, you are sounding just like me!

    Kris, you, too!

    And, Tasha - cheering for you myself!

  7. Kris B -- thank you for the many cheers. i definitely need them.

    Anonymous -- i agree that there are a lot of therapists out there who are doing a heck of a lot of damage. that said, there are also those out there who are doing good, including my therapist. in a situation like mine where i don't have a whole lot of experience seeing healthy relationships, it has been a gift to have a good therapist with whom i can practice healthy relationship behaviors.

    Kathleen -- thanks for your encouragement as well. i am really, really trying to refeed myself right now. bless my therapist, who has shelved trauma work until i can get to a healthier self

    and LBNL, Laura -- thank you again... you know i adore you! your words always mean so much to me. when this is all over, i am going to take my master's degree/LPC and join the "tea party" of the FBT movement!


Post a Comment

Popular Posts