What trust really means
"What we heard was 'I don't love you'.....which was just our fears talking. When we finally buckled down to try fighting this thing again, we came to accept the truth underlying what she was saying: she 'didn't trust us' to set and keep boundaries to protect her from ED. That was just as painful to hear, but at least it gave us something we could do something about and gave us the motivation to keep trying."
I doubt any parent gets this early on - we certainly didn't. It goes against our experience and training as parents up to that moment. But once we did, it changed everything. When we saw the anger and fear for what it really was - we knew our job was to stand up to ED. To listen to our daughter's needs, and not her words, until she was ready to take back that responsibility.