Great blogs

Clear language and unsparing honesty in blog form:

Doris Smeltzer’s blog for parents has the authority and the facts at her Gurze blog in which she says such inconvenient truths as this:
"I did not realize that our culture speaks anorexic, nor did I realize that I was fluent in that language as well. After Andrea died, I destroyed our bathroom scale."
I'm also a huge fan of Carrie Arnold's blog, "ED Bites" where she blogs with wit and grim resolve about recovery amidst co-workers on an office-wide "Big Fat Loser" contest.

And another blog with attitude I recommend is "Size Ate" at - and don't miss the YouTube introduction for her play. Moving, funny, compelling.


  1. Thanks for these, Laura! I'm especially glad to read Doris' ant-dieting blog. Good stuff.

  2. Hi again, Laura. I have read all your posts, and I have to add my 2 cents.

    First of all, I had bulimia, not anorexia - they are very different as far as I'm concerned. I didn't want to starve myself; I didn't want to disappear. So, perhaps you and I are comparing apples to oranges (sorry for the food analogy).

    Some additional background: bulimia was the least of my worries before recovery. The thing I hated most about myself and was probably the most life-threatening was my rage. It could flare up over nothing, and it was so out of control, I would do things that could have ended with my or someone else’s death. I would shake with fear and horror afterwards. I was also living a persistent low-grade panic attach all of my life with almost daily bouts of paralyzing fear and constant depression.

    All of these things faded away with my bulimia when I went through a short (@ 5 months) but intense period of professional coaching that had nothing to do with food or eating.

    I know you will disagree based on your experience and research, and I hate to say all this to a parent, but for me and most of the bulimics I know, bulimia really isn’t about the food or weight. Sure, it starts out that way, but it soon becomes much, much more. The food and weight obsession is just the superficial manifestation of a chaotic mind that is always grasping for some steady direction, some constancy to hold onto. Focusing on fixing the food issues is like treating the symptoms while the disease eats the body away from the inside out. Food is the coping mechanism. Taking away the coping mechanism without teaching someone how not to NEED to cope, is going to lead to a lot of suffering and probably an addiction switch – not a cure.

    I will argue with everything that I am that people become and stay bulimic because we find (perhaps accidentally, like I did) that we need its calming affects just to be able to make decisions and survive. A bulimic’s thoughts are dominated by anxiety and fear, chaos and confusion. The chaotic mind is confused by what exactly is “right” or “wrong,” “good” and “bad,” and the sufferer, understandably, ends up a mess, with no idea which thoughts to believe and which decisions are right for them. Throwing up has been proven to be physically comforting, calming, and can even make us feel euphoric for a brief time. No wonder we get addicted! It’s the only way we can calm ourselves enough to make basic decisions or even just get out of bed many days.

    Rather than go on & on here, I was going to point you to some of my better posts to help explain my own experience and philosophy. Although, in over 2 years of blogging, it’s a tough job! Here are a bunch of good ones. I hope you’ll take some time to read of my experience, particularly if you’re going to group bulimia in with anorexia. You can also feel free to use my blog to ask questions of my whole readership. I think many of them would love the opportunity to talk with a parent about their experience. And, I look forward to reading more of your posts.

    Post about when I started throwing up & why I got addicted

    What does Recovery mean to me?

    Post about a powerful exercise I did in recovery (has nothing to do with food)

    Post on the irrational beliefs & thinking that make binging & purging so appealing

    More on our irrational beliefs (2+2=5)

    Very brief summary of my philosophy on what we need to do to recover

    Michelle Hope

  3. By the way, I am very excited to read about the Maudsley approach. I have never heard of it (perhaps because it's a treatment methodology for anorexia, not bulimia?).

    Thanks for sharing it.

  4. Michelle,

    We may be closer in philosophy than you think.

    "Focusing on fixing the food issues is like treating the symptoms while the disease eats the body away from the inside out."

    If you replace food/starving/purging with alcohol in your example, I think we see eye to eye. ED behaviors act as a drug, and I don't think anyone tries to do therapy with someone who is currently drunk. The behaviors must stop, and the patient has to learn to cope with life without them. They need and deserve support, but they also need to have the drink (or starving, purging, bingeing) taken away.

    Maudsley is a family-based approach to taking the "drink" away and helping the person cope with the withdrawal effects, and then with leading a normal life without the drink.

    Maudsley is like inpatient treatment except it is: at home, has 24/7 loving attendants, doesn't require a lifetime of repair to the family relations after recovery, is consistent over months longer than inpatient, and is stepped down naturally as the patient recovers the ability to self-regulate and thrive.


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