Glad to know you, but maybe not me
Among the reasons it is a pain to be my friend:
- I never say "you look wonderful" even if you ARE wonderful.
- I'm uncomfortable when you compliment me on my appearance.
- I won't join you in discussing your diet.
- Conversations about bad foods and unhealthy foods are one-sided and I'm not talking.
- Fat jokes don't amuse.
- I am doing you a favor if I don't respond when you curl your lip over "the obesity epidemic."
- Commenting on people's lost or gained weight renders me mute.
- Doing so in front of my children will be treated like making a racist comment and I'll contradict you loudly and immediately and will not apologize later. Feel free to do so yourself.