I really don't want her to wind up fighting the same battle
A mom recently asked: How Can A Mom in Recovery Set a Good Example?
I told her I 'd ask the question of my readers:
"I've been dealing with body image and eating issues for the past 2 decades including a bout with bulimia when I was 17 (I'm now almost 32). Although it's been 14 years since I was able to break free from the worst of the unhealthy behavior, it's remained a struggle for me and I still consider myself "in recovery" rather than "cured". The times when I've felt most vulnerable to a relapse have been during the post-partum period when I'm trying to lose the pregnancy weight without crossing the line into unhealthy behavior.
I'm currently 8 mos pregnant with my 3rd and am really worried about how I can set a good example for my 6 year old DD. She's now aware enough to pick up on any negative messages I might send about food and weight. I really don't want her to wind up fighting the same battle I have.
Does anybody have suggestions for resources (aside from therapy which unfortunately isn't an option for me right now) to help me with this issue?"
I told her I 'd ask the question of my readers:
"I've been dealing with body image and eating issues for the past 2 decades including a bout with bulimia when I was 17 (I'm now almost 32). Although it's been 14 years since I was able to break free from the worst of the unhealthy behavior, it's remained a struggle for me and I still consider myself "in recovery" rather than "cured". The times when I've felt most vulnerable to a relapse have been during the post-partum period when I'm trying to lose the pregnancy weight without crossing the line into unhealthy behavior.
I'm currently 8 mos pregnant with my 3rd and am really worried about how I can set a good example for my 6 year old DD. She's now aware enough to pick up on any negative messages I might send about food and weight. I really don't want her to wind up fighting the same battle I have.
Does anybody have suggestions for resources (aside from therapy which unfortunately isn't an option for me right now) to help me with this issue?"
This is such a nest of vipers for me, too. I have two daughters aged 12 and 14. I am not yet in 'recovery', unfortunately, and so it is tough to encourage them to make healthy choices and to eat well if you aren't setting a good example. I am as honest and open with them as I possibly can be. But I guess that level of discussion would be tough for a 6 year old.
ReplyDeleteMy oldest constantly says she is fat. And she is far from it. She has a beautiful figure. She rails that it is ignominious to have a mother who is thinner than her, who wears her cast-offs which she has grown out of. I must admit, I have resorted to telling her I'm the freak; not her. I don't know if that's right or not.
All I can keep doing is encouraging healthy eating, a positive body image and giving her lots of love and support. Honesty certainly does seem to help us, though.
EDs run in my family. when my sisters oldest started over-eating and getting heavy, the family started exercising together. they all played soccer and went swimming and played tennis. years later, my sister takes dance classes with her daughter, runs with her son, and attends all his soccer games. they're healthy kids who've grown to love exercise. that the whole family played together made it all fun. and the kids aren't particularly into food, unless they're hungry.
ReplyDeleteHow can i recognize that my daughter has ed? I think that she has caught anorexia.. She has really lost a lot of weight over a past month..
ReplyDeleteHow did u recognize ur daughter's ed?
If you can help me, email: whitey87@ymail.com
Annie, you can do more. You can get effective treatment and get free of your eating disorder. That is what your children need.
ReplyDeleteKrystal, you need to consult an eating disorder expert immediately. Don't settle for a general practitioner. And educate yourself about this illness FULL TIME. The earlier you act, the better chance your daughter has of recovering.