It's not their fault either

My intended audience in this blog is parents, but sometimes the message of "it's not your fault" gets confused and people think I'm just shifting the responsibility to the patient. I'm not. My daughter's illness was not her choice or her fault.

Her recovery, however - with the unyielding help of her family and savvy clinicians - is uniquely and heroically hers.

That's another mistake we make: thinking that because the illness isn't some one's fault and some one's choice that RECOVERY is also no one's responsibility or triumph.

Recovery, when the same traits that predispose you to the illness also keep you in it, is to be credited to the survivor and the caregivers, absolutely.


  1. a message to those who think it is not my doing that i turned ED's world upside down (of course, with the help of many incredible clinicians):

    cancer is not a person's fault, (why do i often find myself comparing eating disorders with cancer..) but is it not the patient who overcomes it when it's beaten? sure, the doctors do their surgeries and their procedures, but there is no disease in this world that can be beaten without the will and core fight of the patient. i have seen people not fight for their lives, and no surgery can reverse that. every recovery is a person's triumph.
    i worked my ass off for recovery. until i started fighting, it was nowhere in sight and i would love to see someone tell me that my return to health was not own accomplishment.

    sorry, i get a little worked up sometimes..

  2. Excellent post. Well said. And it needs to be said. :)'

    You said it articulately and truthfully. I feel exactly the same way. And as a recovered individual myself, your daughter has all my respect.

    Thanks. :)

  3. Thank you, Arielle - you have my deep admiration for your struggle and recovery!


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